There are many things I should be doing other than this, the night before the final and with many preparations yet to do for moving out, leaving Osaka behind, and traveling 18 days, mostly on my own.
But hilarious thing- you know the pop-up ads that say you've won an iPod? Or a bunch of money, if you can only answer the question right?
Japanese ones offer the chance to win a GREENCARD to America, if only you can correctly identify the president.
I've been busy enough that I've had a continual backlog of cool things I've wanted to write that haven't been happening. So, before I lose it all:
~After Pokemon Center Osaka, Ely and I explored some more of the Umeda district. As she's interested in paranormal activity, she got really excited when we walked by one of the attractions in the HEP 5 shopping center, "The Room of Living Dolls". They seat a group of people in a small room full of creepy dolls, give you headphones with incredibly sophisticated surround sound, and let the lights and sounds and screw with your mind. I left totally freaked out by hearing the deranged mother whisper in my ear and kill the person sitting two seats away and shove my chair and then the creepy daughter doll tried to steal my eyes as the snip snip sound of scissors drew close; Ely was totally unphased by it. I don't understand that girl.
HEP 5- it's a landmark because it has a red ferris wheel on top. Obviously.
~I'm an ass in Starbucks. Since my sister works in the very first Starbucks in Seattle, I like to take pictures of international shops for her and check out how they're different. So, I tried to enter as any normal American would do. I did not notice the queue of waiting customers waiting for tables to be cleared so they would be allowed, nor did I notice their glares as I jovially strolled past them. I didn't understand why an employee intercepted me before I could even approach the counter to ask "sit-in or take-out"; the roundabout, non-confrontational Japanese way of saying "look, there's a line and you need to be in it, dummy".
~Played a 100円 game of pachinko. It's like a slot machine, except instead of "controlling" when you spin the reels, the reels are controlled by little marbles randomly falling through a shiny, Plinko style machine into the target. Your influence is limited to deciding the rate of how fast the marbles fall. Don't quite get the appeal.
~Unexpected faux pas- there's an excessively, hilariously polite expression I use sometimes jokingly use to brush off compliments or convince the other person I'm good at Japanese: お褒めごとを預かって,恐縮です (Literally, "I am shrinking in fear from having received your honorable words of praise)。Last weekend I visited a New Half Bar to conduct informal interviews for my research project. When I entered, I was the only customer there- the employees were a little surprised that I looked so... not a transvestite. We chatted for a while, and when the barmaster (mistress?) mentioned that I looked straight, I chuckled and thanked them in that over-the-top manner for affirming my normal masculinity. The bartender kind of muttered "I don't know that that was a compliment..." Oops. Maybe that wasn't the best audience to be affirming a standard definition of masculinity and passing as the desirable alternative.
~Surprisingly interesting topic: bathroom decor. I can't really think of any establishments in the US that strayed from the decorative style that the whole place had, but a number of Japanese places have had some things that stand out. A noodle shop in the Umeda district has political candidates for the Reform Party, watching you urinate. (SO UNCOMFORTABLE): My favorite bar, Bacchus, features a much younger and much less clothed vanity shot of the owner, Chanho-san: Lady Gaga's favorite bar, Frenzy, has... stuff?: The aforementioned transvestite bar has... Super Sayans?
~The way japanese "news" programs misappropriate clips of western music continues to confuse me. Last summer, the best examples were going straight from clips of baseball highlights set to the Toad's-tastic "Living on a Prayer", to graphs of the economic depression set to ABBA's "Money Money Money". I just recently saw a clip on the recent corruption scandals between sumo wrestlers and the yakuza--a single segment included 10 second clips of Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out", the score from Band of Brothers, and then Boys Like Girls "Love Drunk". Is there some deeper symbolism I'm missing here?
~AN ALL YOU CAN EAT GELATO BUFFET. Followed by Taiko Drum Master, and a quick visit to my favorite bar before coming home early to rest up for tomorrow's trip to Spa World, a multi-story complex of Onsen baths and waterparks. At the bar, I was able to tell a dirty joke that successfully converted the topic of conversation to the clitoris for the next twenty minutes. I'm pretty pleased with myself. Elly is pretty happy about gelato.
Gabe and Bowen learn the joy of Taiko Drum Master. Although according to the game's scoring system, they're more like mid-rank journeyman, and I am the master.
~Lady Gaga is everywhere. After she performed in Osaka last year, Lady Gaga came in disguise to this one bar I ended up at a couple weeks ago with some new friends, FrenZ, with her entourage, and sang karaoke of her own songs, so people eventually figured out it was her. The bartender showed me pictures of where she jumped on the table to perform Just Dance- I was sitting at the exact same spot. And then, the bartender pulled out the bar's greatest treasure- the lipstick Lady Gaga dropped and left behind. He told us to be careful with it as it contained "Precious DNA". I touched something that Lady Gaga touched! I am blessed.
I went to the Cushing Center at the Med School Library yesterday and it was beautiful and glorious. If you didn't know, Harvey Cushing was a badass who went to Yale, then hahvahd Med, travelled, did research at Yale, and revolutionized neurology or something like that. He documented every damn thing, and left it all to Yale.
I walked down there, and it's a cool room with a bunch of brain specimens. There's a video of brain surgery. Stories from Cushing's life. A shitton of brain sketches. BRAAAAIINZZZZ.
Basically, I think that the band should do a field trip. Halloween sketchfest anyone?
I found Greeno! After spending last summer in the same country and narrowly avoiding ever crossing paths with him (by literally about 50 feet) . We went to the world famous Osaka Aquarium (largest in the world!) and saw things as adorable as little claw river otters (their claws! SO TINY!) and as gargantuan as whale sharks.
My life in New Haven this summer = work all day + watch Scrubs + hang out. It's super exciting, I know. So, I've been waiting to have something more eventful to tell you all about, and here it is: my marriage proposal.
Today, as I was walking past the Green in a rush, I got stopped at a light because I like doing that thing where I don't die. And there was a guy at a hotdog cart who started talking to me (I shit you not, he said: "You're working those Calvin Kleins") and ignoring the fact that I was clearly in a rush and uninterested in conversation. He said something about the heat, and how people are complaining about it, blah blah blah, and I responded something to the effect of "Psh, I'm from Georgia, this isn't hot."
"Oh," he replied. "You're from Georgia? That means you're a Georgia Peach." Points for creativity?
And I smiled half-heartedly and silently continued begging the light to turn red so I could cross the street.
He asked what I was doing in New Haven, and I said I go to Yale. I was hoping New Haven people hate Yalies enough for him to lose interest. Then he asked if I was married. When I said no, he promptly introduced himself and invited me to come back to visit his cart sometime, because he thinks he'd like to move to Georgia one day.
Don't worry, the Members of are invited to the wedding.
...when you find out that all your crazy suspicions are true? Like that time when you thought Funibashi Chiba , the part of Japan your homestay is in, is a bed of prostitution.
I thought it was weird that there were so many older guys being cozy on the streets with hot 20 something girls. On Saturday night I came back from Shibuya at 12:40 or so (when the last trains run) after watching some world cup matches at a bar. The girls were all lined up right outside the station. What a sight to behold.
Japan is weird about Obama. I can't tell you how many little kids have exlaimed "YES WE CAN" upon seeing me walk down the street. I guess that's the trademark of America now? But I was watching the show ナニコレ珍百景 (I like to translate it as "WhattheF***WeirdShit") where they were investigating "Obama Udon". It takes its name from the first letter of three of its main ingredients to spell out O Ba Ma. So this one Japanese comedian whose entire stick is looking kinda like Obama (except Asian) went to investigate by yelling "CHANGE" and "YES WE CAN" at the noodle shop owner a lot.
A fun group shot from going out to Yakitori last week.
I don't know why all Japanese burger chains are so strange. This is "Big Man Big Juicy Burger". I couldn't help giggling while I ate it.
This is clearly the most adorable Pocky box ever. The back has little cardboard flaps that swing out so you can hang the panda box on sills and things. And then eat Pocky. Everybody wins!
Japan has a weird relationship with drag and other things relating to queer identity. I don't think I've gone a day without seeing a drag queen on TV since getting here- whether its a campy commercial or a straight comedian in drag or Akihiro Miwa's Oprah-esque show where he teaches people how to deal with their emotions, drag is common, not really frowned upon, and seems to be widely disassociated from "gay".
So the reason this costume struck me apart from just looking silly: though the text insists the sparkle gown is unisex, its clearly marketed towards men. But I can't think of a US male with any degree of involvement in drag who would buy an item marketed at playing drag--they'd go for the real women's clothes. Though drag is a counter-culture costume of sorts, they wouldn't buy things marketed by mainstream society as a costume. And any non-drag male who wanted to play drag for just a party gag would go to the women's costume section of a party shop. So what does it mean that a unisex female costume is marketed towards the average male consumer? I can't say. But I'm intrigued.
And finally, un-related to cultural musings, its HILARIOUS to put fake boobies on your baby. Thanks Japan!
And I've only just discovered "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
New favorite thing to watch? Perhaps...
In other news, I've discovered a billboard advertising NJ's state fair. Yes, we have a state fair. Said billboard: "It puts the 'joy' in 'Joisey.'" I weep for phonics.
Was actually June 1st. Anyway, the instructor of my class, in addition to being a paramedic, is also a police officer, and within the first hour of the first class fulfilled the following two cop stereotypes:
1) made fun of federal officers AKA "feds"; 2) made fun of highway patrol officers; see Supertroopers.
He also said that many EMTs have or may develop strange, almost sadistic senses of humor, as a sort of coping mechanism for the situations they may find themselves in during calls; you can't take an emergency too seriously because it'll stifle you if you do, he explained, and you may not be able to act as a result. And so, I thank you, o_car@panlists.yale.edu.
From the grave of anyone who died too soon because of a faulty defibrillator, Sa"clear!"gar
So Justin and I are living in swanky 204 Park this summer, and we have developed a healthy/obsessive love of cooking. Sorry to do this but here's the link to the blog.
Ramen, Crepes, Original Japanese N64 Smash! Bitches!
I don't really know what else to say. I had an awesome birthday dinner with my host family, and ate way too much (cheesecake and watermelon). I really enjoyed meeting the whole family finally, and I ended up conversing in Japanese a ton. That is really one of my main priorities this time around, so I am glad about that.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Hey folks, Here is my first YPMB post. I am still in New Haven and will soon be rotating between NH an West Haven for my carbon footprint fellowship at UNH. I'll end this post with some advice on good life choices. Living in Madison CT = lame. Hanging out briefly in Madison then bringing friends to the roof of my New Haven appartment and inbibing poetry = Awesome!
I arrived in Tokyo what seemed like a couple hours ahead of schedule, and much to my chagrin, the Hot Dog wrapped in an American flag and rubbing himself with condiments was not there to greet me this time. Originally I wasn't supposed to be in till five, but I had cleared customs (I improved my track record by not getting quarantined) retrieved my bags, planned the train route, and boarded the Limited Super Express by 4:45.
These trains and airports, though, are where I take pride in being the only American traveling by himself. I see other people in family or social groups, most often sightseeing and without much language background. But my rarity again sticks out: even when I'm asking (in Japanese) which ticket to put through the turnstile (sometimes its two, sometimes its three, sometimes the machine returns a different number than what you put in) I most often get the response back in English. I walked up and down the 自 由席 cars of the train looking for an open spot to sit, realizing of course I was the only non-Asian. Yes, I'm pretty tall, and yes I'm blonde. We've been there before, can we get over that already?
I had toyed with the idea of dying my hair darker before this trip to Japan, just to shortcut the numerous interactions of “OMG LOOK AT THAT TALL BLONDE FOREIGN DUDE” but decided against it. A) It would take a lot more than that to make me look inconspicuous, and B) For this one case, at least, Japan is going to have to adjust itself to my differences, and not the other way around. So suck it my dick that is most likely longer than yours.
The first sign that told I had truly returned to Japan: HEATED TOILET SEATS. We are so uncivilized in the states.
But, I did avert the major crises of traveling. After remembering how much I screwed up losing my baggage on the train last time, I ran back just in time to my unattended crew duffel. And then swapping trains at Tokyo's Shinagawa station, I didn't realize that bullet trains only stopped for about 10 seconds before moving on. I barely made it on as I walked along the outside to my designated car then panicked when the gut-wrenching train sounds started happening all around me.
On the train though, I managed to strike up my first conversation with a real live Nihonjin since arriving, a cute girl about my age. She had been dozing and apologized if she had slept with her head on my shoulder; I was so full of the jet-lag madness that I hadn't noticed if she had. We were both kinda tired and my brain wasn't (isn't) yet functional so the conversation didn't get much past simple “where you from” “where you going” type questions, but as she departed at 名古屋 she smiled, leaned in close, and said to me “思い出たくさん作ってください”. ("Please make a lot of memories") D'awww. Maybe a cheesy way to start the trip, but I like it.
"But wait!" I hear you saying. "You haven't even included a single nonsensical picture! And linking to one from last time doesn't count!" Well then. I give you Wicked, on its Japan-wide tour.
Best part is, you can't even tell the actress playing Elphaba is Asian. Because she's GREEN! *(gong)*
I am getting super psyched all of a sudden. However, I definitely forgot all the Japanese I knew. It will all come back quickly I am sure, and at least this time I know what I am doing with customs.
I will only post cool stuff on this blog. General Blog is once again: greenoinjapan.blogspot.com
This time I'm headed to Osaka. Barely recovered from spring semester and deadweek and graduation and the rollercoaster of emotions that entails, and I'm flying straight from New Haven to Japan.
Only issue: the CET program didn't really give me enough arrival details to get a flight that would arrive early enough. They told me just to get a flight arriving on the 28th, so that's what I got. 1:10 pm out of JFK, 5 pm (the next day) in Tokyo. Three hours of bullet trains from there to Osaka. Best case scenario I arrive by 10 pm, most likely much later. This is of course past the time when CET is doing all the orientation and providing me a means of getting into the apartment in which I'll be living. Won't yet have a phone so won't be able to contact my roommate either.
So... unknown city late at night + jet lag + carrying luggage + not knowing my address + no one to meet me there = adventure... right? Bring it on.
Will write more interesting things and add pictures as I'm in Japan. I really got a kick out of blogging last summer, and (maybe it's just me being a total narcissist) but when I had something good to write about I think I managed to convey some pretty cool experiences and insights. Plane tomorrow, finish getting my life together now.
